Definitely Would Be Politically Incorrect If Published Today (Warning: Adult Content)

Twenty years ago this evening, Fargo North Decoder dropped into Comedy Corner, which was a posting board on my now-defunct Website that bit the dust at the beginning of this decade. I can’t believe we’re only a month and a half away from the next one.

Anyway, things were a lot different before the present millennium. People didn’t get offended quite as easily. Fargo wasn’t one to mince words, many of which wouldn’t be apropos for this blog. However, here’s one of his milder rants:

Fargo on Tue. 11/16/99 has joined Comedy Corner at 17:14:17

Remember 2 weeks ago, George Bush was jogging and was almost hit by a garbage truck? He said his life flashed before his eyes. Only thing was, the ’70s were missing. Well, the governor just had another close call. He went into a think tank yesterday and almost drowned!

This past weekend marked 45 years when Ellis Island closed. Remember, that’s where the immigrants used to come into this country? It has since been replaced by California and Texas.

You know what Pokemon is? It’s short for “pocket monster.” It’s like a huge deal and I’m thinking: haven’t kids been playing with those for years?

How many people watched the big “Earthquake Hits New York City” movie? Okay, here’s what happens. Buildings collapse, cabs are driving on the sidewalk, trains are derailed. THEN, the earthquake hits! And the jolt was so powerful that Hillary Clinton was knocked back to her home state.

George W. Bush’s autobiography comes out this week. Everyone wants to know about his drug days, when he was young. The most he admits to is “some of the excesses of the youth of my time.” What does that mean? The closest I can get is: not only did he do coke and drink … he slept with Mick Jagger.

A man in Washington State has invented a new briefcase that turns into a portable toilet. Which means from now on, the guy in the restaurant using his cell phone won’t seem so bad.

Disney is canceling plans for making the sequel to the movie, Peter Pan. The main reason is that Peter is close to 50 now, and it’s just too creepy that he keeps showing up in kids bedrooms.

The other day, a woman on an Air New Zealand flight felt something crawling up her leg. When the gal lifted her blanket, she discovered it was a rat. When that happens on Air Force One, people HOPE it’s a rat.

Prince Charles turned 51 yesterday. The prince spent the day riding his horse, but enough about Camilla Parker Bowles. Every year he asks his mother for the same thing: her job!

Finally, walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with
the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”

“Hans Olaffsen?” he says. “How the heck does that fit in here?”

So he walks into the shop and sees an elderly Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist says, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry'”?

“Is name of owner,” the old man says.

“Well, who and where is the owner?”

“Me, is right here.”

“You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”

“Is simple. Many, many year ago, when come to this country, was stand in line at
Documentation Center. Man in front was big, blonde Swede.” the old-timer said. “Lady at desk look at him and go, ‘What your name?’ He say, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’ Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?’ I say, Sem Ting.”


Fargo on Tue. 11/16/99 17:27:06
I don’t tink this ting’s working….

Fargo on Tue. 11/16/99 left Comedy Corner at 17:27:17

Fargo passed away on 15 April 2002. Had he lived on to the present, I’m certain he’d be having a field day with the current state of affairs. He is surely missed.

On a brighter note: during last week’s entry, I bitched about hearing Christmas music before Thanksgiving arrives, the official start of the holidaze. Having had a change of heart, allow me to pick our first holiday tune in advance:

Warning: NSFW

Thanks for stopping by and for your continued support.

About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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2 Responses to Definitely Would Be Politically Incorrect If Published Today (Warning: Adult Content)

  1. Jack Maher says:

    Again good stuff
    Mike.

    • Thanks, Jack. Happy Holidays. Btw, you made a mistake when entering your e-mail address while commenting, which was why I had to approve it. I’ll drop you a line to tell you what you submitted.

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