A Trivia Quiz About the Dark Ages

The above illustration is a painting by Andrea di Bartolo di Bargilla, from around 1450 CE, depicting Petrarch: an Italian scholar who conceived in the 1330s, the idea of a European “Dark Age,” as compared to the light of classical antiquity, or the period of cultural history between the 8th century BCE and the 6th century CE.

As mentioned in the last entry, due to the fact that I’m being too lazy to rack my brain for a new tirade—this heat wave has got me down—here’s an old trivia quiz that floated around by e-mail about fifteen years ago for your entertainment.

I’m sure anyone younger than the baby-boomer generation will not know what these questions are all about, and consider it “Old School,” or ancient history from the dark ages. Maybe some of the Gen-Xers might be able to answer a few. Don’t cheat by Googling the answers. I’ll be posting them in the near future.

OK, get your thinking caps on. Here we go:

  1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
    a. Flintstones Vitamins
    b. The Buttmaster
    c. Spaghetti
    d. Wonder Bread
    e. Orange Juice
    f. Milk of Magnesia
    g. Cod Liver Oil
  2. Before he was Muhammad Ali, this man’s name was:
    a. Sugar Ray Robinson
    b.Roy Orbison
    c. Gene Autry
    d. Rudolph Valentino
    e. Fabian
    f. Mickey Mantle
    g. Cassius Clay
  3. Pogo, the comic-strip character, said, “We have met the enemy and…
    a. It’s you.
    b. He is us.
    c. It’s the Grinch.
    d. He wasn’t home.
    e. He’s really mean.
    f. We quit.
    g. He surrendered.
  4. Good night, David;
    a. Good night, Chet.
    b. Sleep well.
    c. Good night, Irene.
    d. Good night, Gracie.
    e. See you later, Alligator.
    f. Until tomorrow.
    g. Good night, Steve.
  5. You’ll wonder where the yellow went,
    a. When you use Tide.
    b. When you lose your crayons.
    c, When you clean your tub.
    d. If you paint the room blue.
    e. If you buy a soft-water tank
    f. When you use Lady Clairol.
    g. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
  6. Before he was the Skipper’s little buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s friend:
    a. Stuart Whitman
    b. Randolph Scott
    c. Steve Reeves
    d. Maynard G. Krebbs
    e. Corky B. Dork
    f. Dave the Whale
    g. Zippy Zoo
  7. Liar, liar…
    a. You’re a liar.
    b. Your nose is growing.
    c. Join the choir.
    d. Jump up higher.
    e. Pants on fire.
    f. On the wire.
    g. I’m telling Mom.
  8. In Metropolis, Superman fought a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and…
    a. Wheaties
    b. Lois Lane
    c. TV Ratings
    d. World Peace
    e. Red Tights
    f. The American Way
    g. News Headlines
  9. Hey, Kids, what time is it?
    a. It’s time for Yogi Bear.
    b. It’s time to do your homework.
    c. It’s Howdy Doody Time.
    d. It’s time for Romper Room.
    e. It’s bedtime.
    f. Mickey Mouse Club Time
    g. Scooby-Doo Time
  10. Lions and tigers and bears…
    a. Yikes
    b. Oh no
    c. Gee whiz
    d. I’m scared
    e. Oh, my
    f. Help, help
    h. Let’s run.
  11. Jack Weinberg, best known for his influence during the Free Speech Movement at the University of California, Berkely, advised us to never trust anyone…
    a. Over 40.
    b.Wearing a uniform.
    c. Carrying a briefcase.
    d. Over 30.
    e. You don’t know.
    f. Who says, “Trust me.”
    g. Who eats tofu.
  12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women’s pantyhose:
    a. Troy Aikman
    b. Kenny Stabler
    c. Roger Staubach
    d. Joe Montana
    e, Joe Namath
    f. Steve Young
    g. John Elway
  13. Brylcreem…
    a. Smear it on.
    b. A little dab’ll do ya.
    c. You’ll smell great.
    d. Greaseball heaven
    e. It’s a dream.
    f. Tame that cowlick.
    g. We’re your team.
  14. I found my thrill…
    a. In blueberry muffins.
    b. With my man, Bill.
    c. Down at the mill.
    d. Over the windowsill.
    e. With thyme and dill.
    f. On Blueberry Hill.
    g. Too late to enjoy.
  15. Before Robin Williams, Pete Pan was played by:
    a. Clark Gable
    b. Mary Martin
    c, Doris Day
    d. Errol Flynn
    e. Sally Fields
    f. Jim Carrey
    g. Jay Leno
  16. Name the Beatles:
    a. John, Steve, George, Ringo
    b. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
    c. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
    d. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
    e. Lewis, Peter, George, Bingo
    f. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
    e. John, Paul, George, Ringo
  17. I wonder, wonder, who, who-oo-oooh, who….
    a. Who ate the leftovers?
    b. Who did the Laundry?
    c. Was it you?
    d. Who wrote the Book of Love?
    e. Who are you?
    f. Passed the test?
    g. Knocked on the door?
  18. I’m strong to the finish…
    a. Cause I eats my broccoli.
    b. Cause I eats me spinach.
    c. Cause I lift weights.
    d. Cause I’m the hero.
    e. And don’t your forget it.
    f. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
    g. To outlast Bluto.
  19. When it’s least expected, you’re elected; you’re the star today…
    a. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.
    b. Smile, you’re on Star Search.
    c. Smile you won the lottery.
    d. Smile, we’re watching you.
    e. Smile, the world sees you.
    f. Smile, you’re a hit.
    g. Smile, you’re on TV.
  20. What do M&M’s do?
    a. Make your tummy happy.
    b. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
    c. Make you fat.
    d. Melt your heart.
    e. Make you popular.
    f. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
    g. Come in colors.

Answers will follow…

Thanks for playing, and for your continued support.

About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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1 Response to A Trivia Quiz About the Dark Ages

  1. How did you do? Let’s hope you didn’t get the Beatles’ names wrong. Here are the answers:

    1: Wonder Bread
    2: Cassius Clay
    3: He is us.
    4: Good Night, Chet.
    5: When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
    6: Maynard G. Krebbs
    7: Pants on fire.
    8: The American Way
    9: It’s Howdy Doody Time.
    10: Oh, my
    11: Over 30.
    12: Joe Namath
    13: A little dab’ll do ya.
    14: On Blueberry Hill.
    15: Mary Martin
    16: John, Paul, George, Ringo
    17: Who wrote the Book of Love?
    18: Cause I eats me spinach.
    19: Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.
    20: Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

    Post your score in the comments below. Right, like that’s ever going to happen.

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