Damned If I Do and Damned If I Don’t

Don’t ever click on a spammer’s unsubscribe link and input your e-mail address to stop the flow of unwanted solicitations. I made that mistake last week with the latest barrage of junk landing in my inbox, and now I’ve been receiving three times as much. Each day seems to get worse.

The spammers are probably selling their unsubscriber’s lists to other unscrupulous loggerheads, knowing they’re viable e-mail addresses. I’m just going to ignore and send them to the recycling bin. Better yet, by holding down “Shift” and “Delete” at the same time, the unwanted messages gets sent back to hyperspace like water molecules getting vaporized into steam, with no need to delete them again.

Worse things than worrying about spam could take up my weekly tirade, like trying to decide who’s right about such things as coffee. Some researchers are saying drinking coffee aids in the prevention of dementia, cancer, type 2 diabetes, Parkinson’s disease and cirrhosis of the liver, among other things.

Now in the latest AARP Magazine, an article about men’s prostate health states that drinking coffee should be limited, claiming caffeine can irritate the prostate gland and bladder, causing one to urinate more. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

Since time immemorial, we’ve been told to wear sunscreen when outdoors in the blazing sun for any length of time to prevent skin cancer. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found some of the active ingredients in sunburn-preventive lotions are absorbed into the body and bloodstream, possibly a cancer risk within itself. Another situation where I’m damned if I don’t and damned if I do.

Who’d figure that buying food at the supermarket would be hazardous to one’s health? Tyson Foods recently recalled nearly 12 million pounds of frozen chicken strips that might be contaminated with slivers of metal.

Meanwhile, Perdue Farms recalled more than 68,000 pounds of their chicken nuggets after reports of consumers finding wood in the product.

Avocados were recalled earlier this year for concerns about listeria contamination, much to the dismay of Millennials and hipsters.

Lab tests prompted Keurig Dr. Pepper to recall an unspecified number of its Peñafiel brand of unflavored mineral-spring water for violative levels of arsenic.

Chewy Chips Ahoy announced a recall out of concern the cookies contained an “unexpected solidified ingredient” that the food-maker said it had received reports of “potential adverse-health effects.” God only knows what that solidified ingredient is.

I’ve quit using vegetable oils for cooking, and use a healthier alternative with olive oil. It’s a sad state of affairs when one can’t trust if olive oil is truly “extra virgin.” The National Consumers League tested 11 different olive oils and found more than half of them failed to meet what standards classify them as “extra virgin.” Off with their heads!

And lastly, recent studies have professed the benefit of drinking a glass of red wine daily for the antioxidants, both of which boost the immune system, increase bone density, reduce risk of stroke, heart disease and type 2 diabetes; and lower cholesterol, which is similar to the advantages of coffee.

Conclusions from a recently published article in the journal BMC Public Health state that drinking a bottle of wine per week is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. I gave up smoking 14 years ago. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

Thanks for stopping by, and for your continued support.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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