Inquiring Minds Want to Know

The following are just a few things about which I’ve been wondering:

Is it still taboo to end a sentence with a preposition in formal writing? If not, allow me to change the thesis sentence for this essay to: The following are just a few things I’ve been wondering about.

Whenever an ad proclaims, “As Seen on TV,” have you ever seen that particular product on Television?

On Social Media, after an announcement appears regarding something terrible has happened to someone—perhaps their life is hanging on a thread; he/she/it is missing; something diabolical has rendered them incapacitated—people always comment, “Sending prayers,” or “Thoughts and Prayers.” Do they actually pray and think, or do they feel better about themselves for having said they will do something about it?

Why is it when I complement someone about their photograph, one of the many they are showing me on their smartphones, and the respective individual doesn’t say “Thanks,” but replies, “Yeah,” or nothing at all, and continues to point out other pictures ad infinitum?

Is it really necessary to always back one’s car into a parking space? I’ve wanted to ask those who do, what’s their reasoning for it? Is it to make a fast getaway, where they couldn’t back out of a space quickly enough without turning their heads around and slowly pulling out in order to avoid the chance of smacking into another car that’s approaching and can’t be seen otherwise? Maybe they got into a wreck at one time and are afraid to do it again.

What’s the purpose for making a duck-face on a selfie? Ever notice people who make these pictures perpetually use their same, silly, individual facial expressions on every one? Do you think it’s gross to see someone taking a picture of themselves in their bathrooms or public restrooms? If you’re going to use a mirror for a selfie, at least look into it and not down at your smartphone’s screen.

How come when you catch someone looking at you, they turn away immediately? In the same vein, if someone catches you looking at them, why do they also turn away immediately? That happens to me a lot. Maybe it’s just me. I’d at least wish they’d give me enough time to smile back at them.

How about an old joke?

Two buddies were out for a Saturday Night stroll. Doc had a Doberman pinscher, and Joe walked a Chihuahua.

“Lets go over to the restaurant and get something to eat,” Doc said.

“We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

“Just follow my lead.”

Before entering the eatery, Doc put on a pair of dark glasses and walked in.

“Sorry, Mac, no pets are allowed,” the bouncer at the front door said.

“You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog; and by law, you’re not allowed to discriminate against the handicapped,” Doc said.

“Yes, you’re right; but a Doberman pinscher?” the bouncer said.

“Yes, they’re using them now. The breed is very good.”

“OK, come in,” the doorman said.

Joe figured, “What the hell.” He put on his pair of sunglasses and started to walk in, whereupon the bouncer once again mentioned the no-pet policy. “But you don’t understand,” Joe said. “This is my seeing-eye dog.”

“A Chihuahua?” the bouncer said.

“A Chihuahua? They gave me a damned Chihuahua?” Joe said. (Insert rim shot!)

Hope that didn’t offend anyone. Can’t be too careful in this politically correct, Social Media-minded society in which we now live.

Thanks for stopping by and for your continued support.

About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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