A Seinfeld-like Blogospheric Episode: An Entry About Really Nothing.

breathe-rightSat down to begin this week’s blog entry, not knowing what to write about. Had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Decided to take a so-called “power nap,” slouched down in my swivel chair, leaned back and nodded out.

Didn’t want to lay down on the couch for fear of sleeping the rest of the evening and not making my Saturday-night deadline at midnight, like last week, for posting another silly tirade.

Got about twenty minutes into it and was woken up by my bellicose snoring, probably from leaving my mouth wide-open. My tongue and palate were parched as the result.

Wonder what happened? It must be part of growing old. In my younger years, dry-mouth from snoring and sleeping with my jaws spread apart was never a problem, except for my ex-wife.

Now, breathing through the oral cavity while checking the insides of my eyelids out, feels as if a herd of camels had passed through and left desert sand behind, causing a sore throat to boot upon my awakening.

Ordered the following after researching the anomaly on the Net, finding it works wonders along with an item called “Breath Right,” as shown above.

XyliMelts

 

It’s quite a ritual to perform upon hitting the sack: a couple of XyliMelts adhered to a molar on either side of my maxilla (upper jaw), and a Breath Right doohickey plastered across the top of my nose just beyond the nostrils; but if it keeps me from breathing through my mouth while asleep, the procedure is well worth the hassle.

This hapless human doesn’t go through the motions, though, when copping only thirty winks, allowing for my dilemma this evening; although, the event took almost three hundred words in describing the hoopla, using up three-fifths of a five-hundred-word weekly diatribe.

A pet peeve of mine revolves around seeing individuals glued to their phones, staring at the little screens while out and about in public, inaugurating my latest gallery on Pinterest: Smartphone Zombies.  Stop by for a visit. You might find yourself included amongst the rest someday.

smart-phones-s

My Old Smartphone

Just bought a new smartphone for myself. The old one, as seen on the left, goes back to 2010, ancient history for such a device.

The keyboard was what kept me from replacing it. They aren’t offered as part of the phone anymore.

Fat-thumb syndrome is detrimental to swiping on a screen, causing auto-correct to run rampant, getting me into all sorts of trouble.

The operating system was quite outdated, not conducive for new apps or the latest browsers, inhibiting e-commerce on the Web due to non-secure connections, while the processor didn’t have not enough RAM to run these things.

new-smartphone-s

New Smartphone

Here’s the new one on the right, not the latest iPhone, albeit, which is too costly for me while not looking to make a fashion statement.

This one is an Android like the previous phone, but much more modern.

My swiping has improved. Practice makes perfect, although auto-correct has been disabled in the meantime.

Just my basic Social-Media accounts have been added, finding that the more put on there makes for easily becoming a Smartphone Zombie.

However, don’t be surprised to find my appearance in the aforementioned gallery should my love for this new smartphone grow manifold.

That wraps up another entry, which was an experiment in my attempting to write an entire rant without using the pronoun “I.” Although not grammatically correct completely in spots for formal writing, and my cheating with using the pronoun “me,” methinks this little essay turned out to be a success in egotistical temperance.

Speaking of ego, allow this humble writer the opportunity for sharing my latest cover, which got an unprecedented and overwhelming amount of hits, likes, shares and re-tweets on Soundcloud, Twitter, and Facebook:

Thanks for listening, stopping by to read this literary aberration, and for your continued support.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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