Thanks For All The Fish

osprey-male-pen-ryn

Pen Ryn Adult Male Osprey

Credit goes to Douglas Adams for the title of this week’s essay.

It’s partially the name of the author’s third book in his trilogy: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

The tome is sort of a boy-scout manual’s interpretation of being lost in space.

Surely the novel can be essential reading while traveling along to Mars in the somewhat near future. I hope to live and see it happen.

Have any astronauts brought Adams’ epic with them for reading material to the International Space Station? Good question, I should pose it to NASA on Twitter.

Wonder if they would respond to me?  I doubt it. They’re too busy maintaining all they’ve got to control without e-mailing all their former spacemen and spacewomen, and asking them that question.

Today’s subject is meant for giving thanks to all that drives me nuts about Twitter, if I maybe so bold and not sound condescending for anyone to take it personally.

My main gripe is about the platform’s follower-system which, in more cases than some, allows individuals to run totally automated bots for the expressed purpose of harvesting sheep.

My first impression as a tweeting neophyte, much better a term than “newbie,”  encompassed that being followed by someone was a genuine gesture on their part, for wanting to communicate with those of whom they had just become connected, and not just a one-way affair by the latter, as discovered during my tenure on Twitter.

I’m not saying this is the norm for everyone. An easy check as to whether a tweep—twerp with regards to the latter—is either a genuine follower, or is one who’s only looking to increase his or her numbers, is to not follow them back for a while and see if they stick around. It’s all in the game.

Automated systems use follower bots to run in the background, following massive quantities of tweeps throughout Twitterdom, expecting a follow back within a day or two, and un-following those who don’t reciprocate.

Many actors let the automated service do its thing to increase one’s follower count by leaps and bounds, allowing the user to manage more important things, like getting up on their pedestal and preaching whatever they are projecting themselves to be, for their self-promotion and means to a self-indulgent end.

Pardon the vulgarity, but they don’t give a shit about you unless you pay homage to them; otherwise, don’t expect to see their interacting with you on your timeline, ever, mentioning not one of your tweets.

So it’s like a guessing game, looking at a prospective follower’s profile and timeline to see nothing but “it’s all about me,” top-ten lists and trivial drivel.  I place a bet with myself to see how long these jokers stay if I don’t follow them back.

Those of whom employ these followers’ tactics are only into their own agenda and not yours.

Sorry, that just don’t make it with me. Like relationships in real life, the information superhighway should be a two-way street.

Strange how one can take Social Media so seriously, and I speak for myself as well. The worst thing to do is to take it personally. Too much hatred is shed on it for my liking.

Always look on the bright side of life. Who said that? Monty Python is the answer for those who aren’t familiar with them.

Thanks for your continued support and allowing me yet another tirade.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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