Zen and the Art of Procrastination



Tomorrow is the last day of June 2016, on which my car’s inspection sticker expires.

Not to worry, there’s Zen in my procrastinating.

I’m actually going to wait one more day until Friday, the 1st of July, to get the automobile inspected.

Why? Glad you asked; let me tell you.

It all started when I bought the car, at which time was in November 2003.

Had to get it inspected, as I purchased the Cooper in NJ; and PA doesn’t recognize their three-year initial inspection for new autos.

In the next following years, regular inspections occurred religiously during that prescribed 11th month, until the now, never-ending, lowdown, mean and nasty, procrastination blues set in.

It became a game to justify my laziness, to push the month of the inspection sticker’s expiration to the next one, like I’m doing this year. Note I’m making progress to rotate back to November again.

By being a day tardy for the yearly validation, the Cooper will get a new sticker that will expire on the last day of that present month, next year, when I’ll wait until August 1st to fulfill my obligation to further push it a month later. Does that make any sense to you?

Should I get pulled over by the police for being delinquent on the 1st, I’ll tell him or her I’m on my way to get the car inspected, which will be the truth. Delinquency makes me feel so young again.

The next problem is to get my lazy derriere out of bed before noon. The car needs to be at the inspection facility when the doors open, in order to get it back within a few hours. I’ll have to fall to sleep the night before, way ahead of dawn.

After dropping the vehicle off, I typically walk down the street and eat a leisurely breakfast, get a haircut at my barber nearby, hike around the neighborhood while looking for a photo opportunity, and then return to sit in the shop’s waiting room to watch titillating TV programs on the big screen with a bunch of other procrastinators.

What is it that makes people procrastinate? I’ve always done it. Laziness is certainly up there as a reason, but I’m overly industrious to a fault for the things I like to do. It’s the mundane tasks that get pushed off to the very end.

A lot of unfounded anxiety could be prevented if I would just get the dirty work out of the way, but laziness and the comfort of knowing I could put if off overtakes me every time.

Food-shopping is another thing. It’s been a week so far I’ve been pushing it off, picking up necessities at the convenience store to tide me over. Tomorrow will be the day for that. Later I’ll be compiling my grocery list. Always forget something if I fail to bring one.

The biggest problem with picking up stuff at the local Wawa is passing all the Tastykake cakes and pies, not to mention Entenmann’s pastries. My rigorously sparce eating regimen of the past has slacken considerably lately, whereas I’ve gained twelve pounds since last Christmas, when the weight gain and progressive lack of discipline started.

I cleaned the bathroom today. That had to burn off a few hundred calories, so I feel better about sitting on my backside as I type this, wondering if I’ll be able to shed those extra pounds by the end of the summer.

So what will it be for dinner tonight? Chef Boyardee, bacon, egg and cheese sandwich; calling out for some pizza, or maybe even a gyro? Decision, decisions, life is a quandary.

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my weekly garble; and as always, merci for your continued support.

About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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5 Responses to Zen and the Art of Procrastination

  1. shirleyann21 says:

    Think as we get older we have the luxury of the freedom to procrastinate when we please. It’s ok till we suddenly look at that hourglass and have pangs of regret for the lost opportunities to see some of the things the world has to offer . The key is balance and knowing that in the long run the mundane day to day jobs still have to be done or the outcome is being buried alive by the decision to ignore them .

  2. Thanks for the insightful comment, Shirley Ann.

    I get the mundane stuff done eventually and at the extreme deadline usually. Meanwhile I take the opportunity to do what is more satisfying to me, whether it’s looking for something different to photograph in the neighborhood, mid-Atlantic and the northeast regions of the US, or along my beloved Delaware River; by bird-watching, playing my various instruments and recording self-made music (although many don’t consider it as such), reading, writing essays, dabbling with Social Media, to the occasional journeys abroad—albeit few and far between anymore.

    Retired and on a fixed income, I’m waiting to win the lottery, or for some clever investment returns to roll in for expanding my distant horizons again. The way the market has been reacting to Brexit, the latter option has been put on hold for the time being. As for the lottery, I’m probably better off with just flushing the cash used to pay for tickets down the loo.

    Procrastination’s negative impact on my psyche comes from my invariably thinking often about the dreadful deed that’s yet to be done in the meantime. That’s the wasteful energy which could be used for betterment, enjoyment and positivity, as opposed to unnecessary anxiety. I can be my own worst enemy.

    Thanks again for visiting and taking the time out of your busy day to share your wisdom and sincerity.


  3. Just finished putting away all the groceries from my trip to the food market today, finally. Glad that’s over with. Time now to pig out 🙂

  4. shirleyann21 says:

    Been doing a bit of procrastinating myself the last few weeks just generally tired out ( not practicing what I preach) . Need to get packed for a trip to the Isle of Man – looking forward to it but somehow lost a bit of get up and go which seems to have got up and gone

  5. Enjoy your upcoming trip. I plan on heading out to cooler temps soon. This summer so far has been brutal heat-wise, worse than the past couple of them; and no relative relief is in sight.

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