Rest in Turmoil, Cyberbabble, Trite Trumpery and Social Media

Cyberbabble

Qu’est que c’est?

Well, so much for keeping my Lenten resolution about not complaining; my weekly contribution to the blogosphere is due, and my muse must have skipped town for a while.

Bellyaching, which is something I tend to do regularly, having inherited the annoying trait from my father—so it’s not my fault—provides a fantastically deep well of fodder from which to pick subjects for my periodic diatribes.

A constant source of caterwaul for this blogger is Social Media, something that many consider to be their lifeblood and intellectual stimuli.

Not that this is a bad thing, but for those who are delusional and most willing to pass their hoity-toity behavior and fiddlesticks on to their followers, whom they followed first just to get the former to follow them, is something that lights my fuse like being told to calm down.

Thus, please allow the following list of irritating (to me) idiosyncrasies found daily in my Social Media news-feeds, of which, by the way, I’ve removed Facebook entirely for being just too lame:

  1. Cut-and-pasted quotes meant to inspire, but most often are sugar-laden, nauseatingly sweet and didactically redundant, having been posted regularly since the dawn of the World Wide Web, constantly regurgitated by someone who thinks they were the first one to pass on the jaded words of wisdom, like a kid rushing home from school to tell an old, worn-out joke they heard for the first time that day.
  2. Those who follow me while probably using bots to harvest followers for themselves, not looking to ever read or respond to anything I have to say or post. I’ll look over their timelines to see they seldom interact with their followers, unless it has something to do with their own self-flattery. See the chart at end of this listing.
  3. Self-proclaimed gurus of Social Media, and life coaches. Everyone tries to come off as being an expert about something, I suppose; but with their proclaiming themselves virtuosos of a medium that’s basically all about self-promotion, small talk and bull-shitting, pardon the expression, how can one expect to take them seriously? I would be willing to bet that a larger proportion of these enlightened ones need more coaching about life than me.
  4. Twitter has become the Earth’s comprehensive obituary column. Most everybody who tweets is trying to be the first to announce that someone of any significance had died, trolling for faves, likes, shares and re-tweets; expressing that the deceased, “R.I.P.” How else is a dead person going rest? Certainly they don’t flop around like a fish out of water, unless they suddenly awaken from eternal sleep to find themselves confined in a pine coffin. That’s why I want to be cremated. Just once, I’d like to see someone post: Rest in Turmoil! Never mind, I just did, twice.
  5. Postings of memes found elsewhere on the Web with the poster’s introductions of the aforementioned drivel, saying, “So true,” or “This is me.” Come on, now, be original and make up your own self-centered, trite trumpery. Who gives a damn, anyway?
  6. Selfies: not that an occasional one bothers me; yet one or more everyday drives me to putting that person on mute. I already know how beautiful or ugly they are by their avatars. Sorry, I’d un-follow them, but I like to keep my numbers up as well.
  7. So-called writers and authors who persistently use in their postings, the hashtag: #AmWriting. Why is is necessary to tell me that? Isn’t writing what writers do? So, do it and stop wasting time on Social Media telling me about it.
  8. Over-blown fanatics or wannabees.
  9. All the hatred and jealousy that’s prevalent.
  10. Top-ten lists.

The following is a beneficial flow chart for those who take Twitter seriously and are looking for decent followers with whom to interact, saving frustration and bitterness:

Twitter Flow Chart for Following a Follower

OK, that felt good. Thanks for allowing me the time in your busy life for another tirade to add to the many previously posted here; and as always, thank you for your continued support.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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