Love, Kristen: Stand Up for Your Rights!

Super Kristen

Super Kristen

Ladies, we need to stand up to any and all women-bashing that takes place on a daily basis in and out of the workplace.

When today’s congressional leaders push aside bills that would assure equal pay for equal work across the present gender-barrier, below the proverbial glass ceiling to females in all fifty states, that’s an indication it’s time for a change.

A national corporation denied certain provisions in a law that went (in the CEO’s most humble opinion) against their so-called religious beliefs, making them exempt from adhering to legislation for providing insurance coverage of birth-control pills under the Affordable Care Act’s mandate.

The US Supreme Court ruled in the company’s favor, repealing that requirement from the law, allowing this particular novelty chain and others to save untold millions of dollars in red ink to their bottom lines—literally the bottom line for their pious defense—simply by cutting out this regulation, lowering the cost of corporation-paid employee premiums from insurance brokers dramatically.

An individual has a right to live according to their own morals, providing it doesn’t infringe upon the rights of others. That’s inscribed in our constitution. Religious ideology and legislation must remain as separate entities.

Women lost their rights on the aforementioned Supreme Court ruling; and now certain legislators, based on their personal, moral and religious beliefs, are attempting to regulate a woman’s body further and remove yet another women’s prerogative: the legal right to have an abortion. What ever became of the constitutional stipulation for separation of church and state?

As a blond, I’ve suffered from another form of abuse because of my natural hair color, and the stigma against all fair-haired females who are in the same boat of being classified as airheads, dumb bunnies, mentally and intellectually challenged, a few fries short of a happy meal, no thread in their sewing machines, etc.

However, I’m not typically very outspoken in public places outside of my classroom, and have learned not to appear taunted by such insensitivity by chauvinistic morons.

The other night at the comedy venue in Beckley, a ventriloquist and his wooden dummy, both dressed in black tuxedos and top hats, began their routine with a litany of silly-blond jokes. I’ve heard them all already, and learned to let them go in one ear and out the other as quickly as it came in; but a rather robust, angered, blond-headed woman on the other side of the room stood up on her chair and said:

    OK, you overdressed, asinine jerk; I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating, blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds but women at large, all in the name of humor.

“Bravo,” I yelled, standing up with the multitude in the club who were clapping and giving this brave lady a fitting ovation.

Visibly flustered, the ventriloquist began to apologize when the blond crusader chastised him bitterly, saying, “You stay out of this, Mister. I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee!”

So much for credibility to our cause, I thought, sitting back down at my table, downing my rum and Coke while the rest of the room roared with laughter, making me feel even more humiliated, tugging on my friend’s shirttail to have him sit down as well to help me shield my embarrassment. He couldn’t keep a straight face. Lucky I have a good-natured sense of humor, or it would have been pow, zoom, to the moon and back for him later.

Happy Valentine’s Day belated, and thanks for reading my political rant, which I do rarely; but I felt was it necessary to point out that women need to speak up against inequality and injustice, prevalent still in this day and age. Until next time…


About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at
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