How to Bathe a Cat

Not a happy camper!

Somebody is going to pay.

1. Thoroughly clean the commode.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the loo and close both lids (you may need to stand on top so that it cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as its paws will be reaching out for any purchase the frantic feline can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash and rinse,” which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the bowl and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the commode as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the loo and run outside where it will dry itself.

Sincerely yours,

Rover
The Dog

"Fookin' Meeeeooooowwwww!

“Fookin’ Meeeeooooowwwww!

[Editor’s note: The ongoing nonsense was posted by Fargo North (decoder) at the turn of the century on this date in Comedy Corner. Above picture and .gif were added today.]

Here’s a quickie before I go try out the electronically controlled suspension on my new Mitsubishi 3000 GT.

GREETING CARD VERSES THAT
DIDN’T QUITE MAKE IT

My tire was thumping…
thought it was flat…
when I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat… Sorry.

* * *

You had your bladder removed
and you’re on the mends…
here’s a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.

* * *

Heard your wife left you…
How upset you must be…
But don’t fret about it …
She moved in with me.

* * *

You totaled your car…
and can’t remember why…
could it have been…
that case of Bud Dry?

Be Careless…

Fargo

Fargo on 01/21/2000 has Left Comedy Corner at 12:38:20

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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