Turning into a Green Coffee Bean

Green Coffee Bean Extract

Green Coffee Bean Extract – A 16.66-Day Supply

Teetering on the borderline between obesity and the state of being overweight has prompted the purchase of yet another supply of this so-called miracle weight-loss product, to be set on the electronic notebook and digitally photographed for the lead-in to this week’s exciting journal entry.

Notice another brand of green-coffee-bean extract is gracing these pages with a different amount contained in the bottle. I can never find the same manufacturer twice since this crazy diet began, back at the end of last June, now going on four months ago.

Why is that? Is it because the product is so good that the pharmacy sold out their stock; or does the product really suck and has been discontinued due to poor sales?

Hell, I might as well have bought stock in green-coffee-bean extract. The first batch came in a lot of two hundred with the daily dosage of six per day. The next came in one bottle of one hundred, plus another fifty as a bonus with the dosage at six per day; and the last bunch was supplied in two containers of fifty each, but only four tablets daily were required.

Now back up to six tablets per day, three each at the two largest meals—sixty minutes beforehand—this weight-challenged individual is presently thirty-two pounds lighter than when starting this overwhelming endeavor.

Thirteen pounds (roughly six kilograms) are left to go before reaching my second goal, which will put me at two hundred pounds (14st 4lb/90.7kg), although still twenty-five pounds overweight; but I think I’ll live with that.

It’ll probably be after New Years for me to realize that benchmark, considering the holidays are just around the corner. My goodness, where has the time gone? Any attempt to lose weight on Thanksgiving and Christmas is futile and totally unrealistic.

That means at least another three hundred green-coffee-bean-extract pills later. I may turn into a green coffee bean if this keeps up. Maybe my skin will turn green as well. I wonder, what is the longest duration of time anyone has spent taking these tablets? The latest aren’t actually green but an off-white color. The first batch was green though. The second was red and third was tan. See that? I can’t even get the same color twice in a row either.

This isn’t at all easy nor a total miracle. Not that I don’t think the extract is the main propellant for launching the weight-loss program, but my entire diet changed radically; and an exercise program has been put into play. Too bad I couldn’t just sit on my ass, take these pills, stuff my face like in the past; and as if by wizardry, lose thirty-two pounds in the meantime.

Science Project Day 251

Science Project Day 251

One thing constant and reliable is the ongoing, total petrification of the grapefruit inside the refrigerator. Nothing has really changed since the last report. As seen above, the orange orb is looking rather dapper, in my humble opinion.

Seemingly in suspended animation, the rock-hard, former breakfast treat appears perfectly happy with its present incarnation and, as long as refrigeration is supplied, will continue grinning until kingdom come; although, I doubt there is a next world for citrus.

The science project will stay in the fridge for another sixteen weeks or so, making it a year in there before phase two takes place: to determine how fast the object decomposes outside the Frigidaire. The smiling grapefruit will sit on the terrace to avoid the profuse generation of any fruit flies, infesting my flat and driving me battier than I am already.

I doubt the sparrows, living in the upstairs terrace-framing, will eat it. But if they do, that’s fine too. It’ll be interesting to watch how long it takes their little beaks to penetrate the petrified fruit, another science project in the making.

About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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