Fat Farm Update

misfired camera shot

Misfired Selfie; Delaware River in Background. Note My Shoemaker-repaired, Beloved Leather Jacket


Yesterday I finished the first of two green-coffee-bean-extract pill bottles bought thirteen days ago, and lost three pounds (1.4 kilograms)—not going quite as well as the previous time around—although I haven’t cut out many calories; as I’m pretty much consuming the bare minimum now as it is: keeping my input below 1000 calories per day. Just think, nine more pounds to go, and I’ll cross over into the realm of being on the high side of “overweight.”

“Big @#*&^%+ deal,” I say. Anyway, that’s better than being “obese,” I suppose; however, I do feel a lot better already, but was infinitely happier when stuffing my face with Tastykake cakes and pies, Entenmann’s pastries, lots of pasta and carbohydrates, chocolate and sugarcoated delights, dairy products: two gallons of milk and a pound of cheese weekly; and a pint or two of various-flavored ice cream in that seven-day span. The lack thereof is making me dream of pigging out and resenting myself upon awaking, feeling starved as if my stomach thought my throat was cut (pardon the old cliché).

My only hope of reaching the new goal: losing an additional twenty pounds (9.7kg or 1st 6lb), is to remain vigilant in my eating habits, but to increase the daily exercise regimen; which, for this lazybones, is the toughest part of all.

I’ve been walking about a mile (1.5km) daily with a camera and gear, tripod, and chair slung on my shoulders. Perhaps hiking in double-time, or speed-walking, might help the body’s thermal, fat-burning ability. Does one have to necessarily move his or her arms back and forth repeatedly in an exaggerated, double-time fashion while hoofing-it rapidly? I suppose that makes a person look like they are moving faster, but it’s hilarious to watch someone else do it.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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