Nutty Kids’ Rhymes Put to Music

Having the weird, demented minds of typical teenagers with too much time on their hands, my rowdy band of degenerates and I made up deranged, little rhymes, while trying to outdo each other with the grossest and most insane jingles, putting them to the popular music our grandparents were into. For instance, this one’s sung to the tune of “Button Up Your Overcoat”:

    You smile, your teeth fall out; your hair is like sauerkraut. Take good care of yourself; you belong to me.

    I can tell by the smell, you’re not feeling very well. Take good care of yourself; you belong to me.

The previous absurdity was rather mild, but I figured I’d build up to a resounding crescendo. The next one is rather bizarre, and I must make note that no animals were harmed by any of this; however, dog-lovers may take offense. I can’t remember if we made this up, or someone else passed it on to us. It’s just a bit of sick humor, sung to the tune of “I’m Looking Over a Four-leaf Clover”:

    I’m looking over my dead dog, Rover, laying on the kitchen floor; with one broken leg and the other is lame. I ran him over with my Coco-Puff train.

I forget the name of the next tune to which this final, brain-sick, prize-winning, most maniacal, wigged-out composition is put to, albeit the song was the theme music for a horror-picture series similar to the Alfred Hitchcock Hour. Perhaps it was from one of the zany programs put together by the local NYC-TV channels. At any rate, in closing:

    The worms crawl in; the worms crawl out. They eat your guts and they spit them out. The sight’s so bad, your face turns green. The puss runs out like whipped cream. Blood and gore, across the floor; and me without my sipping straw …,

    So, please pass the gravy!

Now that you are totally grossed out, allow me to bid you adieu and sweet dreams.

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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2 Responses to Nutty Kids’ Rhymes Put to Music

  1. Shirley Ann says:

    Think this year’s poet Lauriate must be getting quite worried. ! They don’t write them like they used to ……

  2. Thank goodness for that, eh?

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