More from Comedy Corner

An unabashed, unedited version of a prior entry from Comedy Corner’s Man’s Man, Fargo North Decoder:

    Fargo 04/04/99 has joined Comedy Corner at 06:36:57
    Fargo Products LLC

    Fargo Products LLC

    WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN

      “I’m going fishing.”
      Really means…”I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand
      by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
      safety.”

      “It’s a guy thing.”
      Really means….”There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

      “Can I help with dinner?”
      Really means….”Why isn’t it already on the table?”

      “Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
      Really means….Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

      “It would take too long to explain.”
      Really means…”I have no idea how it works.”

      “We’re going to be late.”
      Really means….”Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

      “I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.”
      Really means….”I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.”

      “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
      Really means….”I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

      “That’s interesting, dear.”
      Really means….”Are you still talking?”

      It’s a really good movie.”
      Really means….”It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women.”

      “That’s women’s work.”
      Really means….”It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.”

      “You know how bad my memory is.”
      Really means…. “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

      “I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
      Really means…. “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

      “Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
      Really means…. “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”

      “Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing.”
      Really means…. “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

      “I can’t find it.”
      Really means…. “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

      “What did I do this time?”
      Really means…. “What did you catch me at?”

      “I heard you.”
      Really means…. “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

      “You know I could never love anyone else.”
      Really means…. “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

      “You look terrific.”
      Really means…. “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit.

      “I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
      Really means…. “No one will ever see us alive again.”

      “We share the housework.”
      Really means…. “I make the messes, she cleans “

    Hail Damage

      A blonde left her car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over
      she checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents.
      She went to the local garage and inquired how to fix the problem.

      The mechanic told her to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would be
      removed.

      She took the car home parked it and proceeded to blow on the pipe.
      Another blonde came by and inquired what she was doing, she told
      her that she was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents.

      The other blonde responded, “that’s not going to work unless you roll
      up the windows.”

    Fargo 04/04/99 left Comedy Corner at 06:50:57
    ************************************************************

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About Mike Slickster

As an early retiree with an honorary doctorate degree from the proverbial "School of Hard Knocks," this upcoming author with a lot of free time on his hands utilizes his expansive repertoire for humorous yet tragic, wildly creative writing that contains years of imaginative fantasy, pure nonsense, classic slapstick, extreme happiness and searing heartbreak; gathered by a wealth of personal experiences throughout his thrilling—sometimes mundane or unusually horrid—free-spirited, rock-'n'-roller-coaster ride around our beloved Planet Earth. Mike Slickster's illustrious quest continues, living now in Act Three of his present incarnation, quite a bit on the cutting edge of profundity and philosophical merriment as seen through his colorful characters, most notably evident in the amusing Thirty Days Across the Big Pond series, all of which can be found at Lulu.com.
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